Sweet Baby Moses On Stilts....

We have a house.

"Well presented three bedroom terraced house located close to all amenities. Lounge, living room, fitted kitchen, cloakroom, conservatory. Two double bedrooms, one single, bathroom. Available Now. Suit family/sharers. Part furnished/furnished."

A freakin' house...

I can't quite get it into perspective. We, meaning myself, Chris, Phil and Pete, will have to move in Mid-May. That's very soon. On top of that my loan isn't as much now, meaning I will have to find work. Sainsbury's or something until I can find something more substancial to cover the next five or so months, which is how long it is until my course starts again. A financial bitch-slapping all the way. I really am going to have to seriously look for jobs. And I am sure my expanded overdraft will be useful next year. But then, so would winning the lottery.

Why I Don’t Write Poetry

This is why I don’t write poetry
The words grow meaning
Where no context lies
And by the time the reader finishes
They’ve already grown distracted
By the cat in the window
Meow!


By Stewart Paske

Bored out of my tiny, little mind.

I am so bored in fact, that I have developed a tension headache.

wikipedia.org/wiki/Tension_Headache

Notice I am bored enough to be able to tell you my diagnosis and find, read and post the Wikipedia article to you? From which I can extract that stress is the cause. The stress induced by being bored, bored, bored! It all kills time. Or should that be EXTERMINATES time?

That's right, it's Doctor Who tonight. Yet another opportunity for me to indulge my geekiness to the worrying levels. What makes it all the more exciting though, is that we can look forward to another dose of the Time Lord's never-ending enemy, the Daleks.

But still, this is all a good two hours away yet. I have to keep myself distracted for that long which is proving problematic, being broke and all. I was so bored today I even walked to the cash machine in the next village to check my bank balance to find out whether or not I had anything to spend on a moment's glee. Alas, I was met not by one, but by two terribly empty bank accounts. Boredom was reinforced with disappointment. But at least my Barclay's account isn't £1250 into an overdraft, or even into the negative I might add. So I can hold onto that miniscule slither of hope.

It is at this point I add, that I really wish I had my next loan installment and that I really wish I was back at Uni. How I miss it so...

Haircuts.

Now as some of you may know, about a year ago was the last time I had my hair cut. The immediate effects of which, were god awful. It took alot of willpower to go out into plublic. Fortunately it grew to some reasonble form, albeit lacking any particular style or shape. Just long metal-head(ish) hair. However, it did recently reach a point of mild annoyance, it getting in my mouth every five minutes and screwed over by gusts of wind. Now though, now all that has changed. Today, for the first time in over a year, I have let a hairdresser have their wicked way with the top of my head.



It's not bad really, although I look forward to it growing in some more. I miss the length. I really do miss the length. What do you think?

Up yours, Digital Village...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Ooh I feel good right now. I have finally exacted my revenge on the enemy. I have now totally 'Zinged'* Digital Village. I shall share with you my tale of vengeance, in the hope that someday, maybe you will share my joy at the expense of the infinitely incompetent Digital Village. Give me my sweet, sweet Virgin (formerly NTL, then NTL:Telewest) Broadband any day.

Now, as it happens, I had been using the Internet a fair bit directly at the end of the Jan-April Semester at University, and as such had exceeded my 500MB download limit several days in a row. However, I didn't learn of this, until I was back in Cambridge...

Subject: Excess Use of Network
From: Digital Village
Date: 07/04/2007 04:01
To: Stewart Paske

Dear Stewart Paske,

Despite repeated warnings you have continued to exceed the daily usage limit of 500MB as referred to in our Terms and Conditions. As advised in our previous email your account has unfortunately been restricted with immediate effect.


Should you have any queries regarding this email, please contact Customer Services


Regards

Digital Village


Now obviously I was a tad annoyed, however, being at home on my ultra-speedy Virgin Broadband connection, I was for the most part unphased by the email. I knew it would only prove to be a problem if the limit had not been lifted before I returned to University at the end of the Easter Holiday. But, today, I received this email...

Subject: Excess Use of Network
From: Digital Village
Date: 13/04/2007 04:02
To: Stewart Paske

Dear Stewart Paske,

On the 08-Apr-2007 your account was restricted to 56k (Dialup Speed), this restriction has now been lifted.

You can login to digital village to view your account history, the current session page gives you all the information you need to manage your account usage.

If you exceed these limits on a regular basis, we may be forced to suspend your account.

Should you have any queries regarding this email, please contact Customer Services


Regards

Digital Village


As such, I have totally and completely missed out on their little punishment in it's entirety. I have suffered enough Digital Village. This time, this time your bandwidth-thieving hands can't touch me!

Up yours, Digital Village!


*Zinged - To get one over on someone.

The... Brightness?

I have to say, I am really looking forward to the former members of the Darkness' reformation under a new title with a brand-spanking new album. Justin Hawkins sadly gave up his position as frontman and lead vocalist back in October after successfully overcoming his drink and drug problems. Speculation was raised that the band had been dropped by their label, Atlantic Records. Bassist, Richie Edwards, who joined the band after original bassist Frankie Poullain was sacked in 2005 will take over as singer.

News will be announced on the Website soon...
http://www.thedarknessrock.com/

I know I can't wait. Can you?

NOW WITH FACEBOOK UNISON!

That's right, you now get a double whammy of Stoob! As he writes his blog over here on blogspot.com, it now gets sent right over to his notes in Facebook! Life is good. Who could have thought one little cable could bring so much joy!

Not quite a week later...

If anyone still reads this or is perhaps insane enough to get an RSS link to this thing, perhaps now is the time to let you know that, actually, I am still alive. Sorry for not telling you sooner! I have just been busy over these past four months. Working on essays, putting together features, websites, drinking, chilling, eating and finances. The University lifestyle is kind of demanding, though there is plenty of free time, I just haven't spent any of it blogging. It has been a busy beginning to what is turning out to be a rather good year.

On an observational level, Global Warming seems to have done it's part in providing us with unseasonably hot weather for this time of year, which is slightly worrying. But if the world is going to end in a hellish fireball of DOOM, the weather might as well be nice for it.

It pains me to say it, but 2007 does indeed bring me into another year of being just another fish in the sea with no big cuddly warm net to dive into before being dragged away in my own little love boat. However, whilst the loving companionship of a woman seems a little far off, at least I have my good chums about me to keep me merry, drunk and for the most part, happy with existence. A big thank you to them for maintaining my sanity.

At this precise moment in time however, I am at home in the land that is Cambridge, enjoying a nice Easter Holiday, with chocolate, financial security, and my parents buying the vast majority of my drinks from our local pub, The Tree. I have a few dates of potential work lined up at my former workplace, the Spar in my village, but I am yet to say I am available. I should probably take all the hours offered, but I am horrifically lazy. Also, some of said shifts start in the morning. THE MORNING! *shudders* I would much rather spend a morning in bed.

I have been to at least one party already though, which was a bit questionable to say the least. It's a wonder nobody was locked up. The theme of the party was Bad Taste. I was dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan, my friend Stephen 'blacked up' in the guise of a Minstrel, and there are lots of pictures of us grinning like idiots at the camera, albeit me through a white hood fashioned from the napkin I stole from the Indian restaurant earlier that evening. Now there's a story for the grandchildren.

I think that just about wraps it up for this installment, but I will at least try to try to keep up with Steven in terms of blogospheric regularity!

Stoob. x